Sorry I haven't written, it just seems to be the same old guff.  Since my last post, we've had the most rows we've ever had and last Saturday (mum's birthday bbq) P ended it.  He did the bbq and mum didn't have any idea that things were bad, so we just carried on.  By Saturday evening, we'd had some more rows and decided to make up, but things are still dicey.

So, it's been a week since then and I've got a week's holiday coming up and after Jane coming round last night and having a good evening, P went back to the same old depressed "my logical brain still doesn't believe you".  Well, your logical brain is playing tricks on you mate, and the sooner you realise that, the better for everyone.

Cornwall

We've been on holiday to Cornwall and met up with all the cousins, which made it 17 for lunch on the sunday (including the boyfriend) which was a bit hectic, but lovely to see everyone.  We stayed at Ali's in the garden in our new "3 man" tent, which once the airbed was in was about a 1 1/2 man tent! Every night we talked about out situation and everyday we carried on as if nothing was happening.  It came to a head on Saturday evening and I stropped.  Needless to say we'd had a few shandys and therefore, there was no point in discussing it.  It carried on to Sunday when I ended up getting on my fold up bike and cycling into Christchurch to pick up my car, whereupon I went to Mudeford Quay and watched it fill up with tourists all vying for space along the prom with their crabbing nets.  I'm glad I don't live down there any more.  It was heaving, even by 10.00am.  I had a little snooze and then made my way back home, but not until 1.00pm ish.  Was immediately hit with a barrage of stuff, so walked out again.  Came back later and made up, but only after I'd shown some emails which had been sent.  It's going to take a while and I don't know whether we/I'm strong enough.  Stupid girl.